Supporting families with special needs

One of the largest class-action court cases in quite a while is going on right now. About 5,000 families are suing for the right to get money from the federal government’s special vaccine fund. . These funds were set aside years ago to compensate parents whose children were adversely affected by vaccines.

See one story on the case at: click here

While this is an important case, my concern is not about the specifics, but the emotions surrounding the issue.

There is no consensus or conclusive findings surrounding the link between autism and vaccines. Equally knowledgeable and sophisticated people fall on both sides of the issue. I’ve talked to some parents who are convinced of a link and doctors who aren’t.

I don’t have a child with autism, so I’m somewhat removed from the subject, but I do have one question.

What if it is the vaccines? If parents win this particular case, how does this change your child’s condition?

This year has been a hard year for my family. My son had three surgeries and the third one was because the second one didn't work on one of his legs. We spent all summer carrying a fourteen year old to the couch and to bed. The scandals I see in the paper as well as the election and other minor incidents can make one wonder. Is God in control? The facts are that I have never been promised an easy life. Nor, if I read my bible am I able to understand the master plan. I may get a glimpse once in a while, but I never see the whole picture. My son had a hard time understanding that he would have to have another surgery in six months just to try again. He questions why it had to happen. He blames the interns, but that's another story. The bigger question for me is "Is this part of God-s plan?"Am I ever going to be able to know what the plan is? And how can His plan contain the hardships my family goes through? Well one thing I know, in hard times, it's difficult to see the end. But when I look back on where I've come from, I know that though times have been rough, I am a stronger man for having survived. You know what they say! If I had run away from my problems, that would have just delayed the pain, not make it go away. For all the grief, the straightest way through is straight through. And just maybe, God's plan was for me to learn this lesson as well as others along the way.

Ah, spring!

For most of us, it’s both a great and hectic time of year. Each of our three children have extra curricular activities that are coming to a head. There are school music concerts, plays and, yes, the final flurry of end of year projects and exams.

In the midst of this grand time of year comes an event that strikes fear into the hearts of men all over this nation.

I, of course, speak of Mother’s Day.Some husbands try and joke away the need to celebrate by claiming “She’s not my mother.”Bad move.But perhaps I should explain that it’s not the day itself that strikes us men with fear, but the challenging ritual of shopping for the perfect gift that makes this day so difficult.

Birthdays are easy. Even if my wife says “I don’t want anything,” I know that’s hogwash. I can get her tickets to a show or even a gift card to her favorite clothing store.Christmas is also simple. It’s a meaningful and sentimental holiday where gift giving is often driven by wish lists.I just have to pick one – or two.

No, Mother’s Day is something different.As a child of one woman, I can see a clear path of thanks to my mom for birthing me, consoling me over scrapped knees or even the help with homework. With over twenty years of hindsight, I can see the effort that went into molding and shaping me.

The other night my family had something that seems to be rare these days: down time. We wanted to watch a movie, so I fired up the online movie service trying to find something worth watching. We argued over what to watch. Most of the list was either inappropriate or made up of movies we had never heard of. Then I stumbled across the movie “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” from 2011. I knew it was a movie about the events of 9/11, but I didn’t know much more. If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s narrated by, and centers on, a boy who tells you he was tested for Asperger’s, and who lost his father in one of the Twin Towers. He is extremely close to his father and struggles to find some meaning in his loss. He spends the movie following what seems like a convoluted trail of clues from his father, trying to discover the purpose of a key he finds in his closet. The boy’s mom seems like she is dealing with her own issues and is distant. This allows the boy to wander all over New York, contacting people with the same last name as the one printed on the envelope the key was in. With each stop on his list, he grows more frustrated with the fact that no meaning is surfacing. His goal seems further and further away until he reaches a boiling point. What strikes me about this movie is how much my life has mirrored it. When our first son was born, it made no sense. Two months premature, in the ICU for a month. Two years later, we got a diagnosis of cerebral palsy. The truth is this was just a label for what we had been and continue to deal with twenty years later. I can remember trying to find some meaning in it all. At times reaching a boiling point. Swinging my fist in the air and blaming God for what I thought was an inexplicable wrong.

I was watching TV the other night while a young man sang the John Lennon song “Imagine.” Most people who’ve heard it would agree that it is a moving melody—and the young man sang it beautifully.

The problem I have with the song is the lyrics: “Imagine there’s no heaven. . . And no religion too.” The answer to the world’s problems, according to Lennon, is to keep religion from holding back the human race.

While this may be a great solution in some people’s minds, I find it shallow.

This week someone asked me about a story out of Iraq. Two women with mental disabilities were used by terrorists as suicide bombers. These women entered a crowded market place and blew up a lot of people.

Story: http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/02/01/iraq.main/

Some say that a hate-filled religion explains this atrocity. They assume that people are basically good but religion turns them into monsters.

While this might explain some simple issues, I don’t find this answer complete. Is religion responsible for these women being disabled? How about car accidents or cancer? If all the world’s problems could be solved by being a humanist, maybe I would sign up!

There’s an underlying question to ask: By nature, is man good or bad? Throughout the ages, most religions have been the impetus for incredible good—while also being the inspiration for incredible evil.

As the disturbing events of the above tragedy were unfolding, another story of compassion and love was happening simultaneously in the same country. Soldiers delivered wheelchairs to needy kids in Iraq.

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