I'm not fond of making new years resolutions. For me, it is a surefire way to fail at them. It may be that I am a contrarian or that there is too much pressure at the beginning of the year to start fresh. Whatever the case, I decided years ago not to set my goals to start on New Year's day.
It isn't that I don't have goals. It is that I decide randomly through the year to set small ones. Even if I choose one at the end of the year, I will start it in February. Changing up the start of my goals helps me to avoid putting the pressure of failure on them.
One of the buzz terms these days in business is setting SMART goals. SMART goals stand for, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. But, for us special needs parents, we need a different acronym. I can see Specific, but Measurable is troublesome to me. Just like the growth chart in the Doctor's office, it makes me look at what others have done, and we all know our kiddos will get there in their own unique way. But, unfortunately, it's likely different from the way we planned.
Achievable can be frustrating. Have you ever watched a kid learning to tie their shoe? Watching them struggle while I could do it for them in a quarter of the time. But if I let them, they will learn the skill. Watching our children struggle is never a favorite for parents, but it is necessary.
Relevant is important. If I set a goal for my son to run a marathon, I am only fooling myself. Cerebral Palsy and the multitude of surgeries have ruled that out. But self-care, dressing, and other skills are essential and would make a difference for parents and kids.
Finally, Time-Bound. You and I know we just toss this one! Like measurable, we lost the ability to set when things are going to happen or how they will happen. We are on a unique path, like trying to put a genie back into a bottle, it ain't gonna happen!
So my suggestion is SARC.
The C is for celebrate. We need to celebrate every win, no matter how small. The road we are on is challenging. We must remember our successes to know we can succeed in the future. And to have the strength for the next SARC we set.
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When my son was close to finishing high school, I met a parent of a teenager who was very similar to my son. As parents of children with special needs, our conversation turned toward our children and how we managed their needs. I don't remember the subject exactly, but I remember the other parent asking me if I knew about one organization that would have helped us through his earlier years that sounded like something we really could have used. I remember being frustrated and wondering why I always seemed to get more information from other parents than from any organization.
This conversation and others were the early impetus for what in 2006 became Need Project.
I dreamed that there could be a single place to find the supporting organizations families need.
For us, that goal has taken many forms over the years. But, thanks to our partnership with Disabling Barriers, that goal has become a reality. As a result, our resource database has become the most comprehensive source of information for families in the Colorado Springs area. We have added an easy-to-use search and categories to find what you need. We have also redesigned the site to make it much more user-friendly.
We have also included ways to submit reviews of these organizations and a way to submit new ones we might not be aware of.
We are excited to share this with all of you and will continue to make improvements to make it the best resource for families.
Someone said that everyone became one of four things during the pandemic: a hunk, a chunk, a drunk, or a monk. I am afraid my bathroom scale tells me which one I have become.
While that might be a generalization, I think the last few years have allowed many of us to change some of the things we always did for reasons we can't remember. Habits like exercise or reading the Bible, reading to our children at bedtime, or scheduling time with our spouse are great things. But, to be honest, I can't remember why I do some things anymore.
I had a unique experience the other day, and I didn't know how to respond. I needed some wood to finish up some trim work I am doing in our home. So I went to the local big-box home improvement store to pick some up. After choking over the new prices for wood, I got what I needed and headed to the register. I found an open cashier and pulled forward to have the young man check me out. He enthusiastically came out from behind the counter to scan the items in my cart. That is when I noticed something unique, the young man was making random noises, and in between scanning items, he would hit himself on the head multiple times.
I read through a few parent blogs the other day and came across a post entitled "When Your Child With a Disability Isn't a Superstar." I love this post by Ellen Stumbo for her honesty about how we as parents can sometimes make our children and their achievements all about us. It reminds me of the joke about wearing clean underwear if you get into an accident because it would reflect poorly on your mother. As parents of children with special needs, we learn some things that other parents might not ever grasp. It isn't about us!